Archive for May, 2005

Sloven, yet content and Danger Mouse

Thursday, May 26th, 2005

After diligently and earnestly working on the street all day there’s nothing more comforting than tranforming into a shiftless lay about - undressed in boxers and a t-shirt - for a good hour at home. Some gremmies call it ‘unwinding’ I believe. Nearly everyday after work I take part in this new age gremmie ritual which has become the neccessity respite between work and leisure. For the employed pedestrian masses that read this blog, I don’t doubt you’re aware from where my motivations come; the sloth that ladies and gentlemen naturally flirt with but are adjusted to avoid.

On a side note, Danger Mouse Seasons 1 and 2 have been released on DVD. For gremmies who don’t know, Danger Mouse was a cartoon created in the early 80’s for the BBC about a spiffy secret agent mouse (Danger Mouse) and his brainy yet spineless sidekick (Penfold) fighting crime in the form of bad guy Boss Silas Greenback. They had a very catchy theme song which went something like this. Ordinarily I would plan on buying something like this if at least for it’s nostalgic value, but since novatina and mininova exist, I’ll sit and wait.

Dawn in Abilene

Wednesday, May 25th, 2005

After countless e-mails whose subject lines read, “show me pictures of where you live”, this Gremmie finally has an answer. Who ever said NY was grey and sad? Kerouac just don’t know.





Bits and Baby

Friday, May 20th, 2005

Shutter shot.

My camera has arrived and it’s small. Elph small. So small in fact that I can fit it in my front shirt pocket. I haven’t had the opportunity to use it yet, but chances are good that by Monday I will have taken a slew of pictures posted on gremmie.net.

The Media section now works properly though it needs a little bit of tinkering to change the picture sizes to something bigger than blurry. Armed with my new camera and Goof’s recommendation of downloading Picasa2, this won’t be a long standing issue.

I am planning on working on a Mike Doughty section of gremmie.net. The reason for this is because there are no fan sites for Doughty with the exeception of the wonderfully communal, yet threadbare BBS, theonlyanswer.org. I have contacted Mike Doughty’s management and they have agreed to supply gremmie.net with a cache of setlists from prior year shows. In addition I will also be adding a Lyrics section covering his released and unreleased material including covers, a Tabs section for those who are as amateurish at guitar as I am, and lastly a Photo section for pictures fans have taken at shows.

Now for a picture of the baby. Not my baby, my brother’s baby. The red thing on his face is called a storkbite.

Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk

Tuesday, May 17th, 2005

I’m reading this book right now. It’s quite good. Chuck Palahniuk is the gentleman who penned Fight Club. Here’s what The Onion has to say about Haunted.

In his new themed anthology Haunted, Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk does have a point to make about the self-abasement of modern celebrity, and the current price and nature of fame. But getting to it involves slogging through a mountain of fanatically detailed descriptions of self-mutilation, suicide, murder, gruesome sex, even more gruesome masturbation, corpse desecration and decay, child molestation, cannibalism, and pyrrhic self-annihilation, all piled up to such extremes that it seems like Palahniuk is just double-daring himself to top each new vile degradation with something worse. At times, Haunted reads like a redux of the Marquis de Sade’s repetitive grotesque-fest The 120 Days Of Sodom, with the one caveat that Palahniuk’s characters are more inventive about their tortures, and more inclined to turn them on themselves than on others. At other times, it’s more like Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho: full of brilliantly polished ideas so thoroughly smeared with blood, bile, and feces that it’s hard to see the shine.

Haunted’s crowded opening chapter introduces 17 colorfully nicknamed characters on their way to a three-month writers’ retreat. In theory, they’re isolating themselves so they’ll have time and clarity to write their masterpieces. But in practice, none of them contain any stories but their own ugly histories—bizarre Grand Guignol adventures that give them hidden reasons to hide from the world, or more often, from pursuit and prosecution. These stories emerge one by one, each preceded by a mood-setting free-verse poem about the storyteller. Between the stories and poems, a larger arc slowly builds, as the participants decide that reality sells better than fiction, especially if it’s heavily fictionalized reality. Sabotaging their retreat and casting their hosts as captors, they set about creating a marketable reality-TV horror story starring themselves as the victims, and thereby victimizing themselves.

Conceptually, Haunted turns on a beautiful construction: Introduced under names like “Sister Vigilante” and “Chef Assassin,” its characters come across as less than human. But even as their actions become more hyperbolically inhuman, both harder to buy and harder to stomach, their names and stories emerge, and their motives and limitations start making sense. Many of the stories themselves are similarly cleverly constructed, giving the book a fractal-like quality that lets it operate on many levels. And Palahniuk is as unique and colorful as ever, with his predilection for odd factoids and weird twists. But none of this makes the arbitrary deaths, the ludicrous behavior, or the pages upon pages about corpse-rot and vivisection any easier to deal with. Like his characters, Palahniuk sometimes seems to be operating under the presumption that he can never sink too low, or vomit up too much. Here’s hoping he’s wrong, for everyone’s sake.

The Canon SD300 and Cadillac Bicycles

Monday, May 16th, 2005

Did you know the IRS can now beam your tax return directly into your bank account? Like a lost technology from Star Trek, the IRS is now a fully operational e-machine. Like the Death Star only without Darth Vader and those red robed body guards (whose name escapes me) in the Emperor’s throne room. Upon learning that my bank account had swelled by roughly $2.5k this past weekend I felt compelled to finally drop the bank to purchase a digital camera. Upon perusing eBay for a half hour and at the recommendation of Goof, I found my best bet in the Canon SD300.

At 4.1 MegaPixels - a term which to this day confounds me - this digital camera is the current object of my affection beginning with the letter ‘C’. On a side note, in addition to the letter ‘C’, there is also a ‘J’, a ‘P’, and a ‘D’ beholding my affections. For a complete description of those terse bits, email me at dontbother@gremmie.net. According to Goof, this camera will take a decent high resolution picture and provide me with all my basic camera needs. Backing up for a moment I need to explain to you gremmies that my ‘basic camera needs’ are fairly elementary and don’t extend far beyond the inquiry, “Does it take pictures?” Though as my grandmother always says, “If you’re going to buy - BUY.” So instead of getting a passable piece of junk, I picked up this instead. Apparently the memory card it comes with can hold some 150 pictures, which by contrast to my short grasp on cameras and my being accustomed to 36 pictures per roll is like comparing a stack of books to an entire library.

Cadillac now makes bicycles. I don’t know why. I wasn’t aware there was a market for pimped out rides on two wheels without engines. I imagine the brilliant product development team behind this thought those thugs that couldn’t quite afford the Escalade would still want to ride in style, even if only on 2 wheels. Gremmie.net is now taking bets for the next 12 months for how many murders occur because of one moron killing and stealing another morons Cadillac bike. The over/under is 50. Go get ‘em Cadillac.

Poor Man’s Doughty

Thursday, May 12th, 2005

In the words of Shang Tsung in the first Mortal Kombat feature film, “And now for a taste of things to come.”

Yesterday afternoon at around 6pm I rehearsed at Off Wall St Jam on Murray St. with Bob. Bob is the guitarist in the band I played with at the Red Lion in early April. The two of us have been kicking around the idea of forming a solid Mike Doughty cover band for a few weeks now. Shoebucket, the aforementioned band I played with in early April is no more, and the remnants have come calling.

Bob and I ran through White Lexus, Sunkeneyed Girl, F Train, and a slew of other Doughty tunes in the tiny spaces of the Off Wall St. studio rooms. The rooms have that old Irish wood paneling and are replete with professional gear including full drum sets, mics, amps, and those cool leather stools one most often associates with recording. There’s also the requisite 2 way glass which separates the musicians from the gigantic professional soundboard. You know gremmies, like the kind you see in Behind-The-Music back when it wasn’t lame. Nervous at first, I hastily slid into place. Our alotted hour ran by quickly and by 7pm we were being crowded by a bunch of guys in their 50’s doing Rolling Stones covers. Fitting I suppose. It looks like for now it’s Bob, myself, and Elena. Elena is the keyboard player who I affectionately referred to as “leave-your-wife-and-kids gorgeous”. The idea is to have a 5 person band, and with the laundry list of members at Off Wall St Jam., the idea isn’t too far fetched.

There will be shows this summer - a Gremmie revivial of sorts; though this time without Matt Ammerman on stage. But who knows, even that could change. Stay tuned gremmies, it’s bound to get even better.