gremmie.net

Cooler heads prevailed yesterday in an arguement between myself and Goof. The focus? The latest gToon produced by gremmie.net. Originally intended to accompany the story Gremmie: The Dirty Chimney, the gToon was unnecessarily cruel to certain counterparties whose names will go unmentioned. Though I found the 3 minute short to be terribly funny, Goof did not. And he was right.

There is an intriguing dynamic that exists between myself and Goof. One not unlike archetypal brothers whose frenetic energies are so important and microcosmic, the friction is deafening in the face of adversity.

The media section is finally up and viewable. After some initial hassles in acquiring the groundwork, the tinkering is done and has been made available to gremmies everywhere. The buttons in the media section, as is noted, work like a cycle. If you click once you’ll get one bit, again, you’ll get something different and so on and so forth. So far there are only a handful of your favorite gremmie songs posted; radio hits like ‘Sad J’, and ‘Won’t You Help Me’ as well as b-sides like ‘Shark’. In addition, there’s a brief bios of Gremmie, and both myself, Matt M, and Goof. The popular Saint Gremmie video, directed by Goof, is in the mp3/vid section with an old mp3 of Gremmie covering Neil Young’s polemic Rockin’ in the Free World; many more are to be added in the coming weeks.

Check back every few days for more content. I plan on adding more Gremmie songs, with descriptions, more mp3’s and videos, and once the gToons get off the ground, I plan on archiving those in the media section as well. Speaking of which, the first gToon is 90% complete. Last night I spent an intermittent yet healthy 4 hours assembling all of the scenes. All that needs to be added now is an end sequence and the pacing has to be fitted properly. But, between watching episodes of the Maxx, going to the gym, and trying to animate Matt Ammerman’s ass, I’d say it was a productive evening.

Doughty’s Haughty Melodic, Dave Matthews Band’s Stand Up, and the as-of-yet untitled Pearl Jam album are all due to drop this May. If I walked into the music deli this is the Album Roll I would order - perhaps topped with a little Our Lady Peace as a garnish; though their latest, Vampires, is due to drop this Summer.

May 3rd. For those gremmies who already know, I am a big fan of Mike Doughty’s music and more specifically his hotdrop lyrics. Any man who can work the word “aphasia” into a song earns a spot on the Gremmies page for all time. Haughty Melodic is a 12 track studio compilation of all the songs he’s been playing at recent shows including the Gremmie favorites, ‘Busting Up A Starbucks’ and ‘Unsingable Name’.

May 10th. Dave Matthews Band’s Stand Up is purported to be an uncharacteristic departure from their typical honeyhappy meanderings. I’ve heard the first single off the album entitled ‘American Baby’ and I see it as a challenge; the same challenge Pearl Jam wrought upon their fans with Binaural’s ‘Nothing As It Seems’. The subject matter is a bit darker and not rife with transitive verbs like “dancing”, “loving”, or “singing”. And while I’ve always embraced DMB’s shallow lyrical style, I have always been more supportive when the band stretches their wings in songs like ‘Halloween‘ and ‘The Last Stop‘.

Late May. Last and most important, Pearl Jam’s next is a hotly anticipated property. Having devised the initial threads of the Gremmie universe from the Pearl Jam cover song, ‘Gremmie Outta Control‘, all things related to Pearl Jam are material here. At a recent benefit show, Mike, Stone, Ed, Jeff, and Matt unveiled a song entitled ‘Crapshoot‘ which harkens back to their more punkish rock tunes like ‘Save You‘ and ‘Breakerfall‘. If ‘Crapshoot‘ is any indication, Pearl Jam fans are in for a real treat yet again. To this Gremmie Pearl Jam can do no wrong. Having always treated their fans like Rock’s royalty and themselves like handservants, this a band whose members you can both respect and admire all while calling them your friends.

May isn’t so far away. Spring is upon us now and it won’t be long before that tasty Album Roll is in the bellies of gremmies everywhere.

For those gremmies looking for a blogspot pertaining to my New Mexico trip, it will be up as soon as I get ahold of the pictures I took with Pete. In addition, I have begun crafting gToons to accompany each of the Gremmie stories that have thus far been told. First one up will be a gToon for Gremmie: The Dirty Chimney.

matthewammerman 05 indeed.

Goof got a new job working for the state up in albany working with what else but computers. Good thing he got a degree in English. But who am I to talk? I work at an investment bank and have the very same degree. For the amount he is now making he will probably own half of Albany within 5 years time. Apparently it doesn’t cost but a red penny to live upstate. I’m really proud of him. He began his career working tech support for retarded kids(a.k.a. college students) at SUNY and after a variety of misadventures and consulting work, he’s somehow found his way back. This time however, he’s the man. I feel like it was only yesterday that he and I were stalking the halls of the Albany library in search of Philosophy tomes to back-up claims he made in a paper he plagiarized to begin with.

Well, this Gremmie is off to New Mexico tomorrow for a solid week. The same New Mexico whose freak weather just dumped 3 feet of snow on the state. No joke. I was hoping for sun and sex and I get snow and slush. Super. Before that happens though, the media section will be fully functional. Goof coded my idea for the media section last night in a burst session of mad programming. It will be available tonight.

My matchmaking skills are not as good as I surmised; not that I ever fancied myself a matchmaker or tried for that matter. For the two people I ostensibly make perseverate attempts at setting up, it must seem like infinite futility bordering on tedium.

H, as many of gremmies have come to know, is a good friend of mine from the college years. His loyalty as a friend and pleasant sagaciousness consistently keeps him in the top 3 running for Gremmie of the Year. He’s the kind of friend who, if you don’t specifically have as one, is the sum of the best parts of all your other friends. H is also single. Terribly single. Ask him and he’ll tell you with a tone not unlike the postman who is about to go postal.

D, or P, or Deena, as few of you gremmies have come to know due to consistent abscence from the Gremmie roster, is a good friend of mine from high school. Jovial is the word I would use to describe Deena, with a hint of a dilettante’s fixings. As one of the lucky to have seen Gremmie live whilst attending the oft-lauded Union College in upstate New York, Deena is single as well - though not terribly so, according to her. I do not purport to create a contrast between H and D as desperate and not-so respectively; rather I wish to point out that they are both lovely individuals with much in common interest and, less-so, literal stature.
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I have another original mini-cartoon a.k.a. g-toon for you gremmies. If you didn’t catch the first one, scroll down to see Dumpster Diving. After digging through Goof’s site yesterday at lunch I found a Flash cartoon he made but never posted. I can only assume by its contents that it related directly to one of the many Gremmie Kombats, circa 2000. What is Gremmie Kombat?

A derivative mix of both Fight Club and Mortal Kombat, Gremmie Kombat is a pugnacious activity where 2 or more gremmies battle one another using any means necessary to win sometimes inflicting great bodily harm; most times there is no winner or as I like to look at it in getting out aggression - everybody wins. Below’s g-toon depicts an abbreviated fight with Goof on the left and myself on the right. After suffering a taught fist to the mid-section, from out of nowhere (as was usually the case), I threw a lightbulb and it broke over his noggin.

Goof and I plan on assembling more g-toons for you gremmies as everyone seems to like them. They will be a once a week gremmie treat and will be archived in the media section.