gremmie.net

When I was a kid. Oh how magic it seemed. Oh please let me sleep, it’s Christmas Time.

It’s Christmas Time; Hanukkah for those who think Christ was just another gremmie. He wasn’t of course, he was THE gremmie; a pine tree and mistletoe beats out a menorah and dradle any day of the week (except Sabbath). Depsite the ostentatious forms and practices on this website, I’d like to humbly wish everyone in the gremmie readership a lovely holiday; X-Mas, Chawnakah, or otherwise.

Having recently been the recipient of good tongue lashing by a close friend of mine for the rather caustic and highfalutin nature of blog entries as of late, I feel compelled to publicy explain my perspective on the matter. I will begin with a definition that can be found in dictionaries from Toronto to Tokyo. On a side note, I would like to point out that the word “tow” is pronouced “‘tO”, like “toe”, according to dictatorial services.

from m-w.com

Main Entry: grem·mie·speak
Etymology: gromen vox from the Latin meaning ‘voice of gremmie’
Function: noun, verb
1 : speech of one deemed to be a gremmie, specifically : the discussion of the gremmie order told by a prelate in caustic veracious burst description — usually used in plural
2 : wry sense of humor often denoted by the ostensibly arrogant; crass in jest
3 : salacious whispers associated with bedroom activity; pillow talk

As you have probably deduced, the linguistic impressions made through gremmiespeak can often be misinterpreted as explicitly narcissistic and self-absorbed; perhaps the tertiary as rife with intimate tender. Irrespective of this, I do hope the definition helps.

Well, it’s that time of the year again. Well, not for everyone. Well, everyone doesn’t really matter to me right now since bonuses are announced tomorrow. Well, hmm, well?

The company for whom I work will be letting its employees know sometime tomorrow how much they will be doling out for annual bonuses. Much to my surprise, I am eligble for one even though I only started this past summer. I love where I work; if you are any kind of gremmie fan, you know that already. So in addition to my job satisfaction, tomorrow only makes it that much sweeter. Like icing on the icing, on the cake.

To talk numbers would be classless, something I’m not normally adverse to. However in this case I think discretion might be in order. I will say though that a friend of mine in Investment Banking got a bonus that was equal to 100% of his salary. So for those of you gremmies who didn’t take Math for Retards 101 let’s just say you’re working at McDonalds. You’re the fry guy, and you fry, you fry well (points to the gremmie who just caught the movie reference). You’re pulling in a sweet-ass $19,000 a year and just put a down payment on a down payment for a used Pinto Hatchback circa 1978. Your girlfriend is a total cunt, but you don’t care - why? Well, because at year end, in addition to that already comfy 19LARGE, you get a check for another 19LARGE on top of it. Not bad eh?

Tonight is the Christmas Party. It’s being held at the World Bar over by something called the United Nations. Who knows what that means. Should be a fun event. After all, no gremmie can resist the words Open Bar.

The Jets lost this past Sunday to the reigning champs of the AFC North, the Pittsburgh Steelers. At what is now 12-1, the Steelers have clinched the division title.

I haven’t written much about the Jets this season; instead focusing on offbeat news and the occasional gremmie story. But they at least deserve to be mentioned. The Jets stand at 9-4 right in the AFC East going into the final 3 weeks of the season. They play the Seahwaks, the Patriots, and the Rams, respectively. Had it not been for a good showing against the Steelers in a game they could have won, I’d say the Jets are in serious jeopardy for making the playoffs this season. Why? Well, with the least arduous schedule in the league, they should be in double digits by now in the ‘W’ column.

Against the Dolphins twice, the Bills, the 49ers, and the Bengals, I’m hard pressed to believe any other team in the NFL has as soft a schedule. It’s the big fish - small pond syndrome. In short, they only teams the Jets lost to were the good ones; the Patriots, the Steelers, and the Ravens. They also happened to lose to the Bills midseason in a fluke loss. Where does this leave the Jets? Well as my Freshman football coach Mr. Foy at Fordham Prep said, “At the top of the fucking bottom and the bottom of the fucking top.” With a modicum of luck they’ll be able to polish off mediocre Seattle, and the Rams. The day after Christmas they play the Patriots once again. I’ll be there with my pal, H, on the 20 yard line - 10 rows back. Go Jets!

the sweet bronzed muscle of the late new york night
shoved abruptly into place as scrambling fawcetfire;
the weight of her hips like pennies on the backside of a finger -
for the whirling menace is loose once again

mangled cape cod blues become canvas for an intimate painting
honeysticks, which i never got to see, refuse to relent their salacious crush;
- nor would i permit anyway
i can be pedantic, same as you - though the more appropriate side of blithe is just fine

an indecision met cordially at the behest of patience -
she nods;
the indicia should soon be evident insofar as impossible to ignore
hell, it suits me well

I had the good fortune to happen upon one of the premier BBQ restaurants in all of NYC this past week. Tennessee Mountain, located on the corner of Spring and Wooster in SoHo, ((which to the uninitiated, stands for South of Houston)St.) is a quaint eatery with a down-home atmosphere and a signature BBQ sauce to call their own.

The menu reads like the poster child for clogged arteries. Laden with items like Sweet North Carolina Ribs and Honey Mustard Chicken with mandatory side orders of bubbling black bean chili, all of which I devoured; the portions are enormous enough where one dish can suit two people. The ribs were crisped to the point of being blackened, a trait ALL ribs should possess in this Gremmie’s opinion. The staff was friendly, if a bit too flamboyant. And I’m sure if it hadn’t been been raining torrents that night the commute there would have been more agreeable.

Suffice to say, if you’re in the area and have a BBQ craving - go; as gremmies tend to enjoy ‘mindbending food’ with a modicum of ‘class’.