gremmie.net

I was directed towards THIS website today whilst reading a trite article on MSNBC that begged the question, ‘Which is scarier - Halloween or the upcoming election?’ The site itself is wholly unrelated to the aforementioned article, as it pertains to the ghosts and ghouls ever-present in old school NES games. If you were a gamer during the golden age, take a look; it’ll be a pleasant trip down memory lane. They’ve even included some of my favorite games in the likes of Castlevania 3, Duck Tales, and Bubble Bobble.

On another note, I know everyone has been pining for new tunes in the media section and new video as well. Rest easy, because this weekend for your audible pleasure I will be posting the best Dave Matthews song ever written, “Halloween“. It’s tie-in is obvious to even the dimmest of characters. Yes, even you Mike. In addition, I will try to post new videos of SAW which is released today. If you enjoy visceral, terribly brutal snuff films, join me at the Regal in Battery Park City @ 10:10pm - I’ll be in the front row.

With the election less than a week away, I’ve decided to post a video I recently found on the internet. I don’t have sound here at work so I don’t know what’s being said; anyway you should watch it with the sound off. In essence, it’s how Bush would address the rest of the world as he would really truly prefer. Then again, maybe it’s a rare look of who Bush is, a giggling 13 year-old trapped in the body of an over-priviledged, big spending, blue-blood. You decide.

*Click Here*

Upon perusing Dave Dowd’s blog recently, I was directed towards the Photoshop-flub inspired website somethingawful.com. Below is one the of the more hilarious renditions of movie one sheets originally published as part of somethingawful’s Photoshop Phriday feature which manhandles a new theme weekly, exploiting both the savvy talents and sardonic sense of humor of people with too much time on their hands. Plus everyone loves the Karate Kid, even though Part 2 was the best in the series. (Not counting Hilary Swank in The Next Karate Kid)

I’ll admit I don’t know as much about the Yankees as your typical New York fan. Having played baseball from age 7 throughout High School, I understand the basic premise of the game and how it relates to the more strategic aspects of chess. However, baseball on TV is boring. Baseball at a ballpark is also boring (unless you get tickets to the Mets picnis area). Baseball only gets exciting if your team makes it to the playoffs, and even then one can afford to miss a game or two.

When your favorite team is the Yankees and they’re in the ALCS series against arch-rival gaywads like the Red Sox, it begins to get exciting. Tonight is Game 7, the final game in this year’s showdown between a good team and a better team. The fundamental difference between Yankees and Sox fans is that Sox fans are fanatical about breaking the curse of the Babe and will go to any lengths to do so (including instigating bench clearing brawls). Yankees fans however don’t care. Why? Because we just know we’re better. Go Yanks!

This is Gremmie reporting from NYC, home to the NEW Gremmie International Headquarters.

Before I begin on the merits of escalator etiquette, I want to give a huge thanks to Matt Ammerman, aka Goof for helping me out this past weekend moving to Battery Park City. Only a true gremmie would brave the frozen winds and stacked cars of a weekend move that made for one 20 hour day and a whole lotta hell. So Goof, I thank you dear friend - I also owe you one brother.

This morning I took the 4 from Fulton St to Grand Central. At 8:15 a.m. the place is a Zoo. A real live fucking zoo of crazy misfits and slick investment bankers all going the wrong way and not going anywhere at all. The escalators that lead to Grand Central’s main concourse are slow - not like glue running down a wall slow, more like sap taking 5 years to fall from a tree slow. As typical etiquette for escalators is concerned, of the two lanes of one standard size escalator, the right lane people, or right-laners, remain still - they don’t move because they’re too lazy to walk. You can also find these people blocking your path on the conveyor belts in airports when - again - they should be walking but have chosen to exclusively piss you off instead. But that’s fine. The left lane is the movers and shakers lane. This is the progress lane. This is lane where the evolved species goes to use their escalators. Like eating with a fork and knife instead of your feet and anus. If you’re a left-laner, you don’t stop or slow down, you keep walking until you reach the top and can pridefully claim victory having just expeditiously climbed a dirty, slow as sap, escalator in New York’s premier train hub.

This morning, amidst the rush, I took route to the left lane as per usual and found myself moving at a snails pace quickened only by the good graces of other left-laners in cahoots with myself to reach the top as quickly as possible. The escalator is only 20 yards - not terribly long. Not like those ones in Barcelona to Gaudi’s house or anything. So as I reach the halfway point, the lady in front of me stops. Nothing. Just stops. She didn’t say “Ouch I broke my ankle.” she just stopped. Had I been only a C-Hair away from the top I wouldn’t have minded so much, but as I was 10 yards away I started giving her a mischievous stare - as if I were going to barrel through her and leave her for dead all while laughing maniaclly. With each passing second the crowd behind me grew more tense as they were all left-laners looking to make the ride as short as possible. The lady in front of me never bothered to turn around and say sorry and didn’t even offer us reparations for our 15 seconds of agonzing suffering. After what seemed like an hour, I reached the top and scuttled past her, nearly taking a entire family.

In retrospect, because it was my first day of commuting to work from home I decided not to kick her legs out and step on her would-be broken body; as if my ostensible kindness were an offering to the Karmic Gods of the Subway. Well I hope the good will of this deed holds out, the bitch won’t be so lucky next time. Please gremmies, if you’re a left-laner, BE a left-laner don’t stop midway. Don’t sway to the right. Keep moving.

Politics aside, this is one hysterical picture. For those of you who find it familiar (net-nerds) it’s derivative of an old Internet photo whose context read how arbitrary bickering on the internet is. This photo, depicting Bush is much funnier. Enjoy gremmies.